I love a good bargain, and today’s quest to do just one good thing for myself and others ended up being a two-for-one deal. I made a decision to set long overdue healthy, clear boundaries with someone, and this is a very good thing for myself and for that person, even if it doesn’t necessarily feel so good for either one of us right now. As I have found with other people and in other situations, doing the right thing sometimes can be the hardest thing to do. In the end, though, doing what is right is always best, even when it feels like the worst thing at the time.
Setting boundaries with someone who was a significant part of my past, but who cannot be part of my future, is the most loving and caring gift I can give to myself and to this person. I tend to put my own feelings, needs, wants, and dreams aside to keep the peace or to avoid disappointing others, and I do not like to hurt anyone or be disliked by others. Because of these aforementioned reasons, at times, I do not set and maintain appropriate boundaries, and I wind up hurting myself and others, albeit unintentionally. It is a lesson that I continue to have the opportunity to learn, and this time, I eventually got it right and erected the boundaries that will help both of us.
These new boundaries will protect me from the re-emergence of painful memories and feelings that haunt my present and cloud my future, and they will allow me to refocus on my own goals and dreams without taking responsibility for the emotional well-being and happiness of someone else. We do not bring out the best in one another, and we fail to be what and who we need each other to be, in order to be happy and healthy presences in each other’s lives. If I honor these boundaries, I no longer will allow myself to be hurt or to hurt this person. We have been through more than our fair share of pain, both individually and collectively, without causing each other more of it.
I cannot and do not wish to speak for this other person, as I can only speak for myself, but I believe in my heart that today’s decision to put these boundaries in place is the best thing I could do for myself and for this person.
Just one thing each day . . .
Categories: Just One Thing Each Day