The reason I am just now getting around to posting a note about what I did yesterday for myself and for others is the direct result of what I did for myself and what a group of very special people did for me. As I mentioned in the post entitled “Letting Go and Hanging On”, earlier this week, I had to make the tough decision to end a relationship with someone very special to me, and even though it was in my best interest to do so, it has not erased the pain of losing my ‘go to’ person and one of my best friends. I cannot continue to go to someone, though, who plays games with the truth and my heart. Since making this decision, I have beaten myself up for giving so much of myself to someone who, in turn, hurt me and then blamed me for getting hurt, and it has triggered my anxiety and depression and left me feeling sad and lonely. Because of this, I have been fighting the urge to isolate myself, and I was not sure if I should go to what has become an annual dinner with my high school friends last night. When I let them know of my indecision and the reasons for it, they did what they have done since we were 14 years old, they rallied around me and gave me the support, encouragement, and motivation to get over myself and to join them.
I went to dinner, but more than my appetite was satiated. By making the choice to surround myself with positive, loving, and supportive friends, I got out of my head and let them into my heart. Their words of wisdom, laughter, and acceptance soothed my baby soul and reminded me of all the good in the world and in myself. I also was reminded that when I feel at my worst, I need to treat myself the best. I am own worst enemy, and being with friends who are strong, intelligent, inwardly and outwardly beautiful, kind, and funny motivate me to be as good of a friend to myself as they are to me. While the anxiety and depression linger, they certainly do not control or define me, but my words and actions do. So, I will continue to make positive choices like I did last night and replace my negative self-talk with kinder, gentler words, and I will keep taking daily steps to improve myself, my life, and the lives of others.
It is said that misery loves company, and perhaps that is true. Luckily for me, I am in stellar company. Yesterday, much to my surprise, I was contacted by a number of friends who wanted me to know that they, too, struggled with some of the same issues that I do. They offered me their support, which I thankfully and gladly accepted, but in return, I reached out to offer them my support. I shared some of my experiences and what I have done and continue to do to heal myself, and I offered them my unconditional support and acceptance. I also said prayers for all of us to overcome our challenges and to find peace. I hope that I was able to make at least one of these dear people smile and ease their pain, if only for a minute, and I hope that they know that they really can count on me to be there for them. We are all in this together, and together, we will survive and thrive. We deserve that!
So, that’s what I did yesterday, and I am on a quest to do better today for myself and for others. Stay tuned . . .
Just one thing each day . . .
Categories: Just One Thing Each Day