Last Saturday afternoon, I enjoyed a delicious and leisurely lunch at a great local spot with my friend, Rebecca. For me, lunch is akin to food purgatory, as it is not the most important meal of the day like breakfast, and it is not savored and celebrated like dinner is. It is stuck in between these two more significant meals and tends to be rushed through or forgotten altogether. So, having the time to chat with Rebecca between bites of savory food was absolutely delightful.
Our conversation covered a myriad of topics, one being relationships and love, as we each have had experiences, positive and negative, with both. Rebecca possesses a certain insight and wisdom that resonate with me, and I always am interested to get her take on matters of the heart. She made a comment to me that I had heard phrased in different ways by different people, but there was something about the words she chose and the way she said them that touched both my mind and my heart and has remained in both ever since the words were spoken.
Rebecca and I had been talking about the end of a relationship, when she said something to the effect of “you had to free up space in your mind and in your heart”. In the past two years, I have had to let go of a number of very significant and special relationships to me, including my marriage, and whether the decision to end the relationship was mine or someone else’s, it has been a very painful process. In general, I am terrible at saying ‘good-bye’, whether it be after a visit with out-of-town family or friends or when the demise of a relationship occurs, but just as I am learning to accept that farewells are a natural part of life, I also am learning to focus on the ‘well’ in farewell.
Rebecca’s spot on comment reminded me that when you remain in an unhealthy relationship or situation, your mind and heart are so consumed by the very things you do not want and/or fear and have little room for positive experiences, opportunities, relationships, etc. You simply cannot focus on the positive, if you are mired in the negative. Again, this concept is not new to me at all, but with a particular situation, I have spent a great deal of time and energy mourning what was lost, both imagined and real, and losing sight of the fact that my mind and heart are now free and open to better and brighter days. I am not minimizing the grief process at all, but with grieving eventually comes healing, and this perspective has provided me with some much-needed hope and healing.
It is a powerful image to picture my mind and my heart being receptive to all of the goodness that life has to offer, and I truly believe with both my head and my heart that even bigger dreams than I could possibly imagine are in the process of coming true and that the life I desire is absolutely possible. I understand that the possibilities are endless, only if I put an end to the unwanted occupants residing in my mind and heart. So, while I continue to take measures to free up more space in the prime real estate known as my open mind and my big heart, I also am taking measures to find new, healthy, positive residents. Thanks, Rebecca, for a wonderful lunch and your wise words!
That’s another story. . .
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