The one thing that I did today for myself and for another person both involved the telephone. What I did for myself was a matter of me getting out of my own way and answering the call, and what I did for another person was a matter of me taking the time to make the call. Two ends of the spectrum, but both yielded positive results.
Recently, I was put in contact with a professional who may be able to help me to make my dream of becoming a “real” writer come true. I still am blown that anyone reads the words that travel from my mind to my fingertips and on to the computer screen, so, the thought that someone who makes her living as a writer would be interested in working with me to become a better writer and to reach my goals is nothing short of astounding and, truthfully, scary. Yes; that’s not a typographical error. I meant to write ‘scary’, because it most certainly is.
Ever since we agreed to speak on the phone about my blogs, a sense of fear crept in that caught me off-guard, and after mulling over the origins of said fear, I came to the conclusion that I have a fear of success. As if my sanity has not been questioned enough, I can now add the fear of success as yet one more thing to analyze. It may seem odd to some, but taking a step toward making my dream come true triggered the old insecurities that if I did succeed that I would not be able to maintain the success I had achieved or that somehow I was not worthy or good enough to be successful and would be found out to be a fraud of sorts. This fear led to self-doubt, which led to me somewhat dreading the conversation with the professional, instead of embracing this opportunity, and I came close to canceling the call to remain in a state of dreaming rather than doing.
Then, the phone rang this morning, and I answered and immediately was so very glad that I did. Contrary to all of the worst case scenarios that I had imagined, the call went very well, as did the subsequent e-mails about more ideas and suggestions for me to ponder. It was a positive, informative, inspiring, and motivating conversation with someone who is quite talented and genuine, and when the call ended, happy tears began to flow, for this was the first time I ever have truly believed that I just may be a writer, a real writer.
The call that I made this afternoon was to the person who was the recipient of many letters from me when I was a little girl, and she is the person who first encouraged me to be a writer. I find it fitting that the conversation I had this morning regarding my blogs coincided with her 94th birthday, as she remains one of my greatest supporters who loves and accepts me unconditionally. So, it was an honor and a pleasure to call my paternal grandmother to wish her a very happy birthday and to catch up with her.
I sent her a card and flowers, but truth be told, I know that a phone call meant as much, if not more, than either of those birthday mementos. We live roughly 800 miles from one another, and I have not seen her in person since her surprise 90th birthday party. So, telephone calls are always welcomed and appreciated, especially when she and my two daughters, her namesakes, can talk with one another. We chatted for over 30 minutes, and our conversation alternated between light-hearted and serious topics. When we ended the call, we both professed our love and gratitude for one another, and my grandmother assured me that my call had made her birthday even happier. Little does she know, talking with her made my day even happier, as well.
Just one thing each day . . .
For more of my musings, please, visit “That’s Another Story” at www.kristijojedlicki.wordpress.com .
Categories: Just One Thing Each Day