As I mentioned in a recent blog post, “A Second Chance to Get It Right”, I gave up sweets for Lent this year, and I am happy, relieved, proud, and, somewhat, surprised that I survived without cheating or quitting altogether. Not only did I make it through Lent without sweets, but unlike the only other time that I kept my Lenten resolution to abstain from sweets, I did not find myself in a frenzied sugar binge on Easter. Not only did I not eat sweets on Easter, but I did not have any sweets until last night, and when I did, it was an unexpected experience that led to an unexpected realization.
At first, I thought that I did not feel like eating sweets on Easter, due to an illness, but it ended up being something else altogether. Last night, I was enjoying a quiet evening at home alone when I thought about the fact that I still had not had any sweets since Lent started, and even though I was not hungry and was not craving anything sweet to eat, I made my way over the pantry to grab some of my favorite cookies. During my short walk from the living room to the kitchen, I began to question why I was going to eat some cookies when I did not really want to eat any. I ignored the voice that was speaking the truth about not feeling hungry and not wanting cookies, in favor of the other voice that was arguing that I should eat the cookies, simply because they were there in the pantry and because I could do so now.
When I took the first bite of the once off-limits cookie, I was struck by how overwhelmingly sweet it tasted, as my taste buds had grown accustomed to the absence of my favorite sugary confections. I then realized that I did not particularly like the taste, yet I continued to eat the cookies, simply because they were present and were no longer forbidden. When I swallowed my last bite, I did not feel well on a number of levels, as I knew that I made an unhealthy choice, instead of following my inner guide, which told me not to do so.
The cookie was the same, but I wasn’t. As Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better”, and even though I did not listen to my wise inner guide last night, I did today and made healthy food choices. I want to be able to savor sweets as special treats, not use them to reward or punish myself, and I am determined to make this second chance at developing a healthy relationship with sweets right.
In the blog post, “A Second Chance to Get It Right”, I also talk about a sweet relationship that turned sour. When this friend contacted me again recently, it was similar to the reintroduction of sweets into my life, as it was the same person, yet a different reaction on my part. My friend had not changed, but I certainly had. Just like I do not need sweets in order to survive, I do not need this friendship to do so, either; however, just like a delicious cookie can make life a little sweeter, a special friend can, too. Whether or not this person is the human equivalent of a sweet treat or pretty poison remains to be seen, and rest assured, I have my eyes wide open.
That’s another story . . .
Categories: That's Another Story