Turns out that the wrong side of the bed that I alluded to in a previous blog post was one side of the sick bed that I found myself in today. All week long, I have felt out of sorts, but I could not quite put my finger on it. This morning, my body decided to help clue me in as to why I did not feel quite right, in the form of a fever, fatigue, and achiness, proving that not only good things come in threes. So, my plans for the days were altered before I even had a chance to put them into action. So, what’s a girl to do on a “sick day” from work? Be kind.
Normally, when I am home sick, I have a tough time wrapping my brain around the purpose of taking a sick day is rest and recuperate. Instead, I feel an obligation to use this unexpected time off to get things done at home and to do any work that I can from the comfort of my couch or bed. If I don’t check things off of my “To Do” list, I feel lazy. Now, that’s sick! So, today, I made the conscious effort to take care of myself, and I found that being sick left me feeling more vulnerable than ever and provided me with an opportunity to do something kind for myself and a friend.
I indulged in an afternoon of reading both books and magazines, and I read Oprah’s interview with Brene Brown about vulnerability. Even though I had seen this interview when it was aired on Oprah’s “Super Soul Sunday” series, there was something about seeing Dr. Brown’s words in black and white that reached my mind, heart, and baby soul in a way that hearing them had not. Perhaps, I was in a better place in my life to receive her words than I was previously, but whatever the reason, her words left their mark. I have written a blog post in the past dealing with vulnerability, and today, being vulnerable with myself and with someone close to me became the unintentional theme of today.
Allowing myself to be vulnerable enough to lean into the physical and emotional discomfort that I felt today may not sound kind, but it was. No-one likes to be in pain, including myself, but I have been through enough pain to know that sometimes you have to go through it to heal it. So, as I allowed myself to spend part of the morning with the covers over my head and tears in my eyes, and when I threw off the covers, I showered, put on fresh pajamas, and went about the business of getting better. I rested, read, rehydrated, and reached out to one of my best friends. My four “R’s” for recovery.
As soon as I read the quote that opens this blog post, it truly resonated with me, especially since it followed on the heels of me making a choice to be vulnerable with someone close to me. Rarely am I at a loss for words, but there was something that I had not told this person that had caused some tension between us, leaving them perplexed about why I was given pause by something we discussed recently. As Dr. Brown writes, “Vulnerability is the core, the heart, the center, of meaningful human experiences”, and by not being vulnerable enough to share another part of my story with someone who definitely has earned the right to hear it, I was not being honest with either one of us. It takes a great deal of courage to be vulnerable, and trust me, I was very apprehensive to share what I had kept hidden, but it is my hope that by doing so, this person now understands my reaction to certain situations better and that it will improve our connection and communication.
Just one thing each day . . .
Categories: Just One Thing Each Day