Today found my oldest daughter and me at home together for the third day in a row, as she continues to be under the weather with a virus. The overcast sky mirrored my emotions, as today was not one that had me feeling my best overall. That said, I still set out to do something that would make a positive difference in my life and in at least one other person’s life.
When my daughter woke up with another high fever and sore throat, I took off of work again to care for her. I made her a makeshift bed on the living room couch and kept her as comfortable as possible, and when she asked for her favorite kind of popsicles to soothe her throat, I went to two different stores to find them for her. Any doubt that I had about turning down her dad and her maternal grandmother’s offers to watch her today were quickly dismissed when she was cuddled up next to me and said, “Thank you for staying home again to take care of me today, Mama.” Being able to do that meant the world to me, and it was a much-needed reminder that putting my family before work never is the wrong choice.
As I tended to my daughter’s physical needs, I realized that I needed to tend to my own needs, as I felt weary on every level and was plagued by doubts and insecurities. I tried to work through these negative feelings on my own, but I just couldn’t shake them. So, as I often do, I trusted my special friend enough to allow him to see me at my most vulnerable. While I could not share everything that was on my mind, I was able to let him know that I needed some support and reassurance, and he did his best to oblige. It is not always easy to admit when I am struggling, but in order for me to avoid returning to a place riddled with anxiety and depression, I need to ask for help on days like this one. In the grand scheme of things, one bad day does not a crisis make, but having someone to talk with definitely helps to contain the madness of my mind.
So, while it was not the best day I ever have had, it was not the worst day, either. I did the best I could, and tomorrow, I will do even better.
Just one thing each day . . .
Categories: Just One Thing Each Day