Two years ago on this day, with the signature of a judge, our eighteen year marriage officially ended, and another chapter of our lives began. My ex-husband actually was with me when I received the e-mail attachment containing the signed divorce decree, and after reading it together, we high-fived one another, and he commented, “We had a good ride.” He was right. We did have a good ride, and that ride has continued, albeit on parallel paths.
I do not mean to trivialize either our marriage or our divorce, as both are sacred to me. The decision to divorce was years in the making, and just as we did not enter our marriage lightly, we did not enter our divorce lightly, either. We dated nearly three years before walking down the aisle and did everything we could to prepare for life beyond our wedding and honeymoon. We faced the good times (a new home, career advancement, the births of our daughters, and countless other happy moments) and the bad times (5 years of infertility treatment, the early stage of cervical cancer, and marital issues) together. As we continued to grow as individuals and as a couple, eventually, we began to grow apart. Despite our best efforts to resolve the issues that divided us, we reached a stalemate. When we realized that we could not save our marriage, we decided to save our friendship and our role as united parents, and we focused on taking care of our daughters and each other. It was like amputating an appendage to save the rest of the body. Something was now missing, but eventually, we began to recover and heal.
As I reflect on our second anniversary of our divorce on this blustery Halloween night, I am very grateful that our divorce has yielded far more treats than tricks for our daughters, for my ex-husband, and for me. That’s something to celebrate and be grateful for today and every day. Happy Divorce Anniversary, and Happy Halloween!
That’s another story . . .
Categories: That's Another Story