Last weekend, I drove from Louisville, Kentucky to just north of Cincinnati, Ohio to visit with my college roommates and some of our friends. It is a drive that I have made countless times, and I know that stretch of highway so well that I could do it with my eyes shut. Safety first, though, so, I kept my eyes on the road. It was on my drive home that I saw a road sign in a construction zone that advised, “Stay in your own lane”, and I did just that, as I navigated my car along the road on that gorgeous Sunday afternoon, and I thought about what it means to “stay in your own lane” off of the road, as well.
Much like trail running, there is a meditative aspect to taking a long drive, as everything and nothing at all meanders through my mind, music plays in the background and the landscape rushes past the windows of the car. On this particular drive, I thought about how much has changed, for better and for worse, over the past few years, and how very far I have come in my own journey of grief, healing, and thriving, especially of late. The pieces of my heart and my life continue to seamlessly come together, and I find myself feeling happy and content. It has been a long time coming, and I found myself reflecting on how I arrived in the good place I am today. After seeing that road sign, I realized that staying in my own lane is what has helped me heal from the recent loss of a special relationship, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.
Having a big heart and being fiercely loyal can be a double-edged sword, as they are inherently good qualities to possess, but, at times, I give my heart and loyalty to people who betray them and don’t give myself the same love and loyalty in return. In order to deal with this latest loss, I made the conscious choice to be the person I know I am, which meant having to focus on my own wants, needs, and goals, instead of being the consummate cheerleader and go-to-person for others. I have had to learn to do for myself what I was accustomed to doing for others, and this has proven to be a very valuable lesson to learn on a number of levels. I found that when I spent the same amount of energy on myself that I had spent on others, I felt better and made better choices. Then, my life began to change for the better. I am now faced with some unexpected, and much desired, opportunities, and I welcome them. So, as I continue to stay in my own lane, I am confident that all roads truly will lead me “home” to the life I have envisioned.
That’s another story . . .
Categories: That's Another Story