In the wee hours of this morning, the world is dark, quiet, and completely still, which is a stark contrast to the thoughts and feelings that travel in a well-worn circuitous route from my mind to my heart. These words and emotions ricochet off of my brain and heart in silent and invisible chaos, and they keep me awake while the rest of the world slumbers. This is not the first time that this has happened, and it certainly will not be the last time. I am just grateful that this time feels rather dreamy, rather than nightmarish, as it has in the past. This is my literary lullaby of sorts, as I write to sing my body, mind, and baby soul to sleep. I write for myself, as I, in the words of Eddie Vedder, “wait up in the dark for you to speak to me”.
So, who is the “you” whose words I wish to hear? Everyone? No-one? Someone in particular? We all have a “you” we long for and whose “voice” we listen for, whether it be another person or our authentic selves. When waiting up for the sound of another person’s voice or the sound of our own voice, we must do so with open eyes, hearts, and minds, in addition to open ears, lest we focus so much on waiting and wishing that we miss out on living in the present and creating what we desire in the future.
There is a definite vulnerability in trusting someone else enough to give them a front row seat to our memories, hopes and dreams, fears and insecurities, and the ups and downs that comprise our life’s journey. There also is great vulnerability in listening to, and following, our intuition and heart, especially when our brain protests the direction that we are headed. There is no guarantee that whomever or whatever we are waiting up for will be worth it, but if we don’t wait and listen, we are guaranteed to miss out on the amazing opportunity to hear, and be heard by, another kindred spirit and to hear our true selves speaking to us from the depths of our very being. Both of those possibilities keep me up at night, and, so, I continue to wait.
That’s another story . . .
Categories: That's Another Story