How are you? Okay. Like so many people, this is my go to response when someone inquires about my current state of well-being. Sometimes, depending on the person posing the question to me and when and where the question is being posed, it is truly the most appropriate response at that moment. Sometimes, that seemingly simple word, which has been simplified even more with abbreviations of “okay” or, my personal pet peeve, “k”, says a great deal, without really saying anything at all. Sometimes, okay is, well, okay, while other times, okay is not okay.
Recently, I have thought of what it means to be okay. Is it a state to achieve or a launching pad for something greater, or is it both, perhaps? There are times when life is anything but okay, and I pray to reach a state of okay. Okay becomes the brass ring that I want to grab hold of when I am overwhelmed with anxiety, depression, or whatever other negative things life serves up. Then, there are times when okay feels like a ring around my neck that is suffocating my hopes, dreams, and motivation, and I struggle to loosen its grip. Lately, okay has vacillated between being the ring I cling to and the one I fight to free myself from, when all I want is to be okay with being okay. Or should I be okay with that?
I have read many quotes from wise teachers that extol the virtue of being content with where you are in life and being happy with what you have, even when, or especially if, things are not going well. For a long time, I have aspired to both being okay with being okay and being okay with not being okay, and I have felt guilty for the moments when I want more for my life. I also have noticed that when I become okay with being okay, that I tend to become complacent. My wanting more has nothing to do with being ungrateful or selfish, as it has more to do with living up to my potential, wanting to a full, happy, and healthy life for myself and the people I love, and reaching my goals. I am grateful and okay with what I have, yet I am not okay with what remains to be seen and done in my life. I want to change parts of myself and my life to reach my goals and live out my dreams. Is that okay?
That’s another story . . .
Categories: That's Another Story