Normally, I welcome August with a similar excitement and joyful expectation that I revel in at the beginning of every new year, as I prepare for my birthday. Not this August, though, as there was nothing normal about it. When this month was only a few hours old, my dear friend unexpectedly died, leaving her family and friends to celebrate her life, mourn her death, and miss her very presence for the rest of the month and for every month still to come. So, when that’s how a month begins, there is no coming back from it.
For the first time ever, I understood why my irreverent Pal dreads August, as I found myself joining in her dislike of this once lauded month. It has been like each of the previous months this year, one marked with grief and loss and more challenges for loved ones and yours truly. It felt even worse, though, because bad things aren’t supposed to happen during my birthday month. It is one time of the year when, in the past, I have felt like I have been granted temporary immunity from life’s difficulties, but apparently, life did not get the memo this year. August was a bust, and I just wanted it to end as soon as it began. Today, mercifully, it does.
With September on the horizon, part of me is afraid of what may happen this month, but a greater part of me is clinging to the hope and the promise that a new month brings. For even as dark and heavy as this year and my corresponding thoughts and feelings have been, there is something in me that fervently wants to believe that all of the positive things I subscribe to are true for the people I love and even for myself. Sometimes, I don’t know why or how I keep dreaming and doing, but today, someone shared the following quote with me that may be the underlying reason:
When I asked him why he thought of me when he came across this particular quote, he responded that it was because of “the value you put on love”. He is spot on, as I value love immensely. I wear my heart on my sleeve and love to love and to be loved. I believe that love is the most powerful healing force in the universe, even though so many people withhold it or shy away from it. So, that’s what keeps me going forward, love and all of its promises, as we head into September. Life looks so very different from how it did last August, and I am curious to see where love and life will lead me and what the world will be like next August. Maybe, I will learn to like it again.
That’s another story . . .
Categories: That's Another Story