Isn’t It Ironic

Black & White Photo of a Male Crouched Down By An Outside Wall

I love quotes.  Words are powerful and meant to be shared with others.  I almost always begin my posts with a quote, and I generally share a quote to begin and end the day on the That’s Another Story Facebook page.  Some quotes resonate deeply with me, while others remind me of someone in my life.  There are some quotes that are forgotten almost as soon as they are seen or heard, then others, like the one above, stay with me.

This morning, my colleague and fellow quote aficionado, Sophia, shared this quote, and as soon as I read it, it took root in my mind and stirred my heart.  Despite a busy day, this quote continued to make its presence known, as I thought about how this quote has played out in the little dog and pony show that I call my life.  At first, I thought of some of the people I want who have ignored/continue to ignore me and some of those I have loved/still love who hurt me, and I took an indignant attitude, as I thought of how I had been wronged.  It was very easy to identify the people in my life who fell into one or both camps, and the very thought of the various examples of being ignored and unloved stung.  The second thought I had hurt as much or more, though.

As I reflected on the quote, I had to admit that just as I have been ignored and hurt, I also have been the one to ignore or hurt someone who has wanted me or loved me.  That admission is not easy to make, as I always have maintained that I would rather be the one who gets hurt, rather than the one who hurts someone else.  I am far from perfect, though, and I know I am not alone in my imperfection, just as I am not alone in my dual roles as victim and perpetrator.  Perhaps, that is merely human nature, and we are all trying to figure this out together.

Sometimes, the hurt may be intentional, but other times, it is truly unintentional.  Just because we want and/or love another person doesn’t mean that they will reciprocate our feelings.  That definitely hurts, as I know all too well, but I also know that the heart wants and loves who it wants and loves, and we cannot force it to feel something that is not there.  Sometimes, we will do anything and everything to try to change another’s heart and mind, including our own, to no avail.  The only thing to do is to walk away and focus our time, energy, and love on caring about ourselves and others who will respond in kind, but that can be easier said than done.  Doing what is right and best can be difficult and feel like the worst possible thing ever.  If we are the object of someone’s unwanted affection and attention, we need to be direct, honest, and gentle, for the ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.  If we don’t want or love someone, that truth will put them on the path to finding someone who will be able to love them in return.

Then, there are those instances when we truly love someone, yet we hurt them in a various ways.  We take them for granted.  We lie to them to “protect” them.  We take out our pain on them, because we know that they won’t abandon us or judge us.  We don’t tell them how we feel about them, because they should already know how we feel.  Any of this sound even remotely familiar?  These examples are but a few ways that we hurt those we love, and while our loved ones may never leave us and always forgive us, everyone has a breaking point, and there are no guarantees.  Rather than risk losing those we love, we need to be mindful of our words and actions and make sure that they reflect how we genuinely feel.

My hope is that we can take this quote to heart and find positive and healthy ways to go from victim to victor and one who hurts to one who heals.  If we can learn to do both, we can make matters of the heart less complicated, and in the game of life, that’s truly winning.

That’s another story . . .

 



Categories: That's Another Story

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6 replies

  1. Wow, Kristi! Glad to have taken the time to read this thoughtful prose. You certainly have a gift and I admire your dedication to your blog. Continue on…that’s my story…ha ha!

  2. This post and the quote resonated with me. I understand many of your points, especially the one ‘lie to protect’ which I have done. This is not a good idea as it means that I take the pain of another which is neither true to me or true to them. thanks for the reflection

    • It means a lot to me that you can relate to this, Elizabeth, and I so appreciate you sharing your feedback. Lying to protect someone is something I know a thing or two about, from both perspectives, and even when I try to tell myself that I am doing it for the other person’s own good, I know that the pain of being lied to, regardless of the reason, is worse than the truth in the long run. I continue to reflect on that quote, as well. . .

  3. Hello!
    You had me at, “Words are powerful and meant to be shared with others.” Many thanks to Pam Kirst at Catching My Drift (so sorry, don’t know how to ping back from my phone!) for introducing me to your blog!
    Write on, please, I look forward very much to more sharing! 😊

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