To be honest, the last thing that I want to do is write tonight. I am completely stressed out, but it doesn’t have to do with cancer. Well, in an indirect way, it does, as I am scrambling to get everything taken care of before my surgery. Normally, I am very organized and motivated, but lately, I have struggled to get things done around the house. So, tonight, I am overwhelmed, and I seriously am looking forward to being in a drug induced slumber. In the midst of the anxiety and chaos, though, there is still much to be grateful for:
- My sweet friend, Cindy, sent me a very timely gift of meditation coloring books and colored pencils. I was going to save them for later on this journey, but I may break them out this evening! I am not artistic at all, but I can color like nobody’s business and cannot wait to use them.
- As I watch the University of Kentucky men’s basketball game, I am grateful for my friend and fellow UK fan, Terri, for the awesome UK jacket she gave to me to wear post-surgery. With Terri and the rest of Big Blue Nation on my side, cancer does not stand a chance!!! Let’s hope Duke doesn’t stand a chance against UK tonight, either.
- As truly appreciative of all of the calls, texts, and messages today, I am just as grateful for the breathing space others have afforded me. I also am appreciative for my friends and family who do not take my lack of immediate response personally, as I do not mean any offense at all. My silence is not a warning sign of impending emotional doom, as much as it is some much-needed time to focus on the numerous practical tasks at hand and to take some time for myself.
- Even though I didn’t look forward to writing this evening, I am truly grateful for this space to share what is on my mind and in my heart. As much as I like to talk, it really is much easier for me to express myself through my writing. It provides me with control over what I share, how I share, and when I share, and when addressing things like the anxiety and depression I have faced and the cancer that is my current companion, it provides me with a protective shield that telling my story repeatedly to different people does not.
- I am thankful and relieved that my recent lack of motivation and overabundance of procrastination did not spill over into my job, as I haven’t missed a beat since the cancer diagnosis. Today was another satisfying and productive day, and I was proud of the work I did.
Now, back to crossing things off of my “To Do” list . . .
Just one thing each day . . .
Categories: Just One Thing Each Day