Mom, my friend died. This definitely was not what I expected my youngest daughter to say upon answering her phone. I called her on my way home to find out if she would like a hot chocolate for her study break, so, it took me a moment to wrap my brain around what she had just blurted out.
In between her sobs, my daughter attempted to explain what had happened. The only problem was that there was no explanation. Fourteen year olds are not supposed to die. They simply are not. But they do.
It is difficult enough for adults to cope with death and the grieving process, much less children. As I fumbled for the right words to comfort and reassure her, I knew that there were no right words to say. There was nothing really to say at all, but I tried.
Through my own tears, I told her how sorry I was and that i knew what it was like to lose a friend. I told her how much I love her, and I listened to her cry and attempt to make sense of the fact that her friend was now gone.
At one point, my daughter said, She has no future any more, as the reality and finality of the situation sank in. Her voice was tinged with a sadness and fear that broke my heart. I could not get home to her fast enough.
Once home, there were few words, but lots of tears and big hugs. That trend has continued during these first few days of raw emotion. As I do my best to support my daughter, I cannot stop thinking about the parents of her friend. Their loss is my greatest fear, and I am devastated for them.
I also cannot help but think of my own friends who have died. No matter how long they have been gone, I still miss them and think of them. I wish my daughter did not have to go through this, especially at such a young age.
As a parent, I want to protect both of my daughters from all of life’s hardships and cruelties, but I can’t. This unimaginable loss has left me feeling very vulnerable, and it also has reminded me just how unpredictable and fragile life truly is. As the shock lessens, the grief does not. At least, not yet.
That’s another story. .
Categories: That's Another Story