Recently, in a moment of what I would describe as divine intervention, I registered for a Reiki I training. Moments prior to doing so, I hadn’t ever considered signing up, but the moment I did, I couldn’t imagine not doing it. It immediately right. Because it was right.
I was giddy with anticipation as the date of the training drew near, and when the day finally arrived, I felt equal parts excited and content. As I entered the sacred space of the yoga studio that has been such a safe haven for me these past few years, I still couldn’t believe that I was there, but I knew that is where I belonged.
I spent the day with a wonderful, diverse group of women, who all were called there for different reasons. I soaked up every bit of wisdom and healing that I could, and I looked forward to learning so much more about Reiki. I left feeling a bit blissed out and eager to apply the Reiki principles and techniques to my life.
The following day, I woke up feeling refreshed and re-energized and continued to languish in the Reiki afterglow. I was off to a great start, until I got in my own way, which is precisely when things grinded to an abrupt halt.
I got out of the flow and back into my head, as the familiar pattern of over thinking began. My negative thoughts emerged from the shadows and bombarded me with doubts.
How do I know if I am doing this correctly? What if I can’t do this? What if I fail? Why did I think I could learn to be a practitioner of Reiki? Why can’t I be more zen?
The thoughts kept coming, depleting my energy and dampening my once buoyant spirits. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew who would be able to provide some much needed answers. I reached out to Jodie, the Reiki Master who conducted the training, and her response was not what I expected. It was, however, exactly what I needed.
I thought Jodie would reply with some practical tips on Reiki techniques, but she went straight to the heart of the matter. My doubts and fears had nothing to do with the mechanics of the process, but it had everything to do with the thoughts I had about it. I had managed to make my Reiki practice stressful to the point that it was overwhelming. Definitely not how I wanted to feel!
Jodie spoke to the anxiety that I had about practicing Reiki. She explained that when we experience anxiety, it is a sign of how passionate we are about something and how much it matters to us. I have dealt with anxiety over the years, but I had never viewed it through this lens. Viewing it from this perspective, I was able to gaze upon the anxiety in a much more loving and accepting light.
As I reflected on Jodie’s words, they took on a much greater meaning and impacted much more than my Reiki practice. When I found myself feeling anxious in other situations, I focused on why it mattered so much to me and how I could honor its significance in a less anxious manner. When I became more mindful, I noticed that some of my anxiety was unwarranted, as the situation was not important to me after all. I was reminded the importance of not allowing my mind to go on automatic pilot and respond in a way that did not serve me well, which then gave me the chance to choose something better.
When my anxiety was tied to something that I am passionate about, like Reiki, I chose supportive and reaffirming thoughts. Reiki values intuition and intention, not perfection, which are concepts that I tend to agree with, but don’t always practice. Until now.
My anxiety is being replaced with the joyful anticipation of the upcoming Reiki II training, and I am finding ways to incorporate Reiki into my life, without judging myself, without focusing on getting it right, and without getting caught up in the how to process.
As my thoughts continue to change for the better, so does my energy. When I think in healthier, more positive ways, my words, actions, and energy reflect that. It’s that reflection that I want to see in my mirror and beyond.
That’s another story . . .
Categories: That's Another Story