2012, Part II

“If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it, even if I may not have it at the beginning.”-Gandhi

Hands down, New Year’s Day is my favorite holiday, with my birthday being a close second, although the latter is not a recognized holiday, but I digress.  What they both have in common that resonate with me is that they represent a chance to start over, to get it “right”, and to make positive changes.  While each second of each day offers these very same opportunities, there is something about New Year’s Day that takes it to the next level.  It is powerful to know that people all over the world embrace the concept that each new year could be the best year of their lives and set out together to embark on a collective journey to make their lives, families, and communities better than the previous year.  There definitely is strength in numbers, and on at least one day of the year, I feel like the entire world unites for the common good.

As the new year begins, I always have high hopes, great expectations, and renewed energy, as I set out determined to achieve the goals I have set for myself.  Then, I am confronted with real life and all of its distractions, and sometimes, I find myself coming up with all sorts of reasons not to pursue what I was so very passionate about and committed to on the first of the year.  I tend to be a very “all-or-nothing” kind of girl, in that if I do not do something to perfection or have a situation not turn out exactly as I envisioned it, I will stop dead in my tracks and wait for the perfect opportunity to start over again and again and again.  It becomes like the items on my “To Do” list that get carried over week after week and month after month without being done, and the end result is that I do not reach my goals or pursue my dreams, all in the name of perfection.  It is emotional paralysis, and it literally has crippled me in every area of my life at one time or another.  The irony is, that as a social worker, I get paid to help others find and execute solutions to their own problems, yet it is so tough for me to take my own advice sometimes.  Social worker heal thyself.  I know that I am not alone in this, as I witness this epidemic among people I know and people I don’t know.  In the age of “YOLO”, where we cannot even be bothered with spelling out a meaningful reminder like “You only live once”, it is time to stop living an abbreviated life and find a way to start living life in a genuine and authentic manner each and every day, not just on New Year’s Day.

Lest you think I really have lost touch with reality, yes, I am well aware that today is July 1, 2012, not January 1, 2012.  Today is 2012, Part II, for me.  Six months from today will be January 1, 2013, unless the Mayans are correct, then, this post is for naught.  So, I have spent part of yesterday and today reviewing my 2012 resolutions and planning for the next six months.  I do not want to squander the next six months waiting to start over on New Year’s Day, as I am reminded on a daily basis that life is far too precious to take for granted. There may not be the time for a “do over”, but there is time at this very moment to It sounds easy enough, but I know that without action and commitment, I will be spending December 31, 2012, with the same incomplete goals.  

Last New Year’s Eve, I chose to spend the day and evening alone at home to reflect on what was arguably the worst year of my life, and I counted down the hours until I could put 2011 in the past and embrace the fresh start that 2012 afforded me.  When the clock struck midnight, I wept tears of joy and repeatedly said aloud, “I did it!”.  I had survived a year that nearly killed me, literally and figuratively, and I was, and am, ready to thrive.  I have made progress in some areas of my life, but I want much more and am using the half-way mark of the year to recommit and re-energize myself to my hopes, dreams, and goals.  I want to celebrate 2012, not merely get through it.  So, how will the second half of the year be even better than the first half?  What will I be celebrating when the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve 2012?  What dreams will have come true and what goals will have been met by January 1, 2013?

That’s another story  . . .



Categories: That's Another Story

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2 replies

  1. I love your blog!!! You are such an inspiration to all of us that have struggled with divorce, anxiety & depression!!! Keep writing! I’ll see you in October 2012 so check that off your to do list!! 🙂


    • Kristine, I cannot thank you enough for all of your kindness, concern, and support. Make no mistake that it is you who is such a positive and inspirational role model for me, and the fact you have been there for me means a lot to me. I look forward to seeing you in a few months for a nice chat and plenty of drinks to celebrate our friendship and our new opportunities. Love to you!


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