Yesterday, I made the decision to end a decade long relationship. Like most relationships, this one wasn’t perfect, and for awhile, it worked rather well. Then, things began to change. Small annoyances and inconveniences morphed into significant issues, and despite the increasing evidence that I needed to end this relationship and move on, I hung in there, hoping that things would somehow improve. This week, though, after returning to this relationship one more time, I was let down once again, and with the support of my friends and some professional help, I decided to end this unhealthy relationship once and for all. I decided not to upgrade to another Blackberry, in favor of another cell phone.
Okay, okay, okay, so, this is definitely a first world problem to have and was written somewhat tongue in cheek, but this choice was actually the catalyst for some deeper, more meaningful self-reflection. So, bear with me, as there really is a point to this post that I hope is not lost in translation. For quite some time, I have been increasingly dissatisfied with my phone, but since I prefer the physical QWERTY keyboard to a virtual one, I tolerated the things that I disliked about the phone and the things that my phone lacked, all for the sake of that prized keyboard. I had become a slave to those raised keys. Every time I was eligible for another upgrade, I would get the latest Blackberry, only to discover, to no-one else’s surprise but my own, that while the phone’s exterior may have looked different, the technological and interior issues remained the same. Finally, this week, I had to accept that I was sacrificing a great deal, all for that physical keyboard, and I decided to dip my toes into the unfamiliar waters of Android phones.
As I drove away from the Verizon store yesterday morning, it suddenly occurred to me that my loyalty to a cell phone that no longer met my needs was similar to some relationships and friendships I have been in throughout my life. Loyalty is a wonderful quality, except when you are loyal to a fault like I am. I tend to remain in situations that have long since served their purpose or run their natural course, all in the name of loyalty. I was raised to finish what I start and never to quit, but I failed to grasp that as important as these lessons are, there is also just as much value in knowing when to end a relationship or remove yourself from a situation when it no longer serves one or both of you well. I am not advocating throwing in the towel at the first sign of trouble, but there comes that moment of truth when you realize that there is nothing that can be said or done to make a relationship or situation change for the better. Doing something repeatedly and expecting a different outcome is one definition of insanity, and you can choose to embrace insanity or clarity. It may take me awhile to choose the latter over the former, but eventually, I make the right choice.
Just as I had to open myself up to the possibility that the virtual keyboard and the operating system of an Android phone may not be something that I need to fear and that I actually may like them better than those of the Blackberry, recently, I have begun to open my mind and my heart to new opportunities in my life. It would be very easy to remain in the relative safety of tried and true relationships and situations that do not meet my emotional, mental, spiritual, and/or physical needs, because at least, I know what to expect. That said, as scary and painful as it is to end something, especially when you are not sure of what awaits you, the fear of the unknown is not a valid reason to remain complacent in your life. My new phone is on its way, and I am confident that more positive opportunities in a number of areas of my life will continue to present themselves to me. It’s definitely a call that I will answer, and I will continue to upgrade my phone and my life, as needed.
That’s another story . . .
Categories: That's Another Story
Love it! Great analogy or metaphor, not sure, will look up meanings. You are totally right, though. Sounds like my marriage. Now I have an Android!
So glad that you understood what I was trying to say, as I wasn’t sure that I conveyed what was I thinking very well. Looking forward to more upgrades in my life:)